Tyson Adams

Putting the 'ill' back in thriller

How Many to Screw in a Lightbulb

I thought I would post a little list that gave me a giggle. I’ve only added one to the list, see if you can spot it and my sense of humour.

–Sent by Leon Ogroske, WRITERS’ Journal, www.writersjournal.com

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I can’t tell whether you mean ‘change a light bulb’ or ‘have sex in a light bulb.’ Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?

Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But first they have to rewire the entire building.

Q: How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It isn’t too late to make this neon instead, is it?

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Proofreaders aren’t supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query them.

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, and two to hold down the author.

Q: How many booksellers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, and they’ll be glad to do it too, except no one shipped them any.

Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You’ve already screwed in too many light bulbs. Repetition!

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, and they like to give it a good twist at the end.

Q: How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the light bulb has to endure a series of conflicts and challenges before it finally changes.

Q: How many reviewers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just stand back and critique while you do it.

Q: How many netgilantes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Did he use an English word? Must be a writer! Let’s lynch him!!!!

Q: How many reviewers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but first they have to tell you why they didn’t like how you did it.

Q: How many Kindleboards authors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, followed by a 12-page, passionately-argued thread about how much the light bulb should cost.

Q: How many forum users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but in the following ten-page discussion, someone will invoke a comparison to Nazis.

Q: How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but you also need an editor, proof reader, cover artist, and an agent to be there at the same time.

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4 thoughts on “How Many to Screw in a Lightbulb

  1. Funny . . . in a sad, truthful sort of way.

  2. Humour is often funny because it is true or insulting. The sad part comes in when it shouldn't be funny…..Hang-on, I was far too insightful with that last remark. If I'm too insightful I might not appeal to Fox News watchers.

  3. Some truly quality articles on this website , bookmarked .

  4. Pingback: Light Bulb Jokes For Writers | Facing 50 with humour.

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