Tyson Adams

Putting the 'ill' back in thriller

Archive for the category “Humor”

Hemingway Spoilers – Wrong Hands

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Source: Wrong Hands by John Atkinson.

Old Timey Complaint Letter

Complaint letters

Taking Criticism

One of the most important aspects of writing is taking criticism. It is an important skill that you need to develop in order to:

  • Tell the critic how wrong they are;
  • Explain to the critic in excruciating detail how they just don’t understand your art;
  • Make an extensive list of places the critic can go to think about their mistakes.

See more from JP:

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Writer’s Block Solved

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More from Grant at his site: http://www.incidentalcomics.com/

More on Writer’s Block.

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Warning labels for fan-fic

See also: Fan Fiction is Awesome.

A Real Scroller

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Answers to one of those list thingies

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Angela at Books and Opinions posted one of those lists where you are meant to pick either/or. In true Tyson Adams fashion – which has suddenly grown to referring to myself in the third person – I’m going to ruin the list with my answers.

1) Paper or Digital?

Both. They’re both books. I like books. And repeating words.

2) Romance or Sci-Fi?

I love science, so sci-fi.

3) History or Current Events?

I remember back when history was current events.

4) Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes because he likes music, logic, and drugs. Lots of drugs.

5) Twilight or Hunger Games?

Blade or Battle Royale? Have to say Blade.

6) Jane Eyre or Anna Karenina?

I’ve ignored both equally.

7) Harry Potter or Narnia?

Living in a cupboard or travelling through one: tough choice. Have to go to the sorting hat for this one.

8) History or Biography?

To be honest, not a fan of either. Especially if it is the history of a sport or biography of a sportsperson. Or the history of biographies.

9) Stand Alone story or Series?

Series has the advantage of telling a story over many books. Stand alone has the advantage that the story isn’t dragged out over many books. There’s a lot to be said for both.

10) Dante or Tolstoy?

Dante has far more literary nerd cred for those trying to impress people on the bus/train.

11) Sauron or Jadis the White Witch?

Jadis hands down. Sauron isn’t even in the same race. He’s like the annoying sidekick.

12) The Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew?

The Hardy Boys and their jalopy, overt racism, and old-timey values.

Bring back the Percontation Point

Have you ever written something sarcastic only to have someone take you seriously?

Have you tried to be ironic but people are confused as to whether you are being serious, ironic, or satirical?

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Well, how about we try to bring back the Percontation Point.

The Percontation Point, or the Irony Mark, used to be a punctuation mark that indicated that the sentence had another layer of meaning to it. With spoken words we get to use tone of voice or facial expressions to make sure people are hearing the other layers. In writing we have to make our layers so obvious that we bash people over the head to make it clear. Even then people will inevitably ask:

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Seriously, there is an entire website devoted to this.

So it is clear that writers need to revive the use of the Percontation Point to indicate sarcasm, satire, and irony. It is an essential tool for smart people to use to make stupid people feel even stupider. Which makes it the best punctuation mark of all.

Also called the Percontation Point and the Irony Mark, this one's used to indicate that there's another layer of meaning in a sentence. Usually a sarcastic or ironic one. So it is essentially a tool for smart people to use to make stupid people feel even stupider. Which makes it the best punctuation mark of all.

 

Made it to Friday

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Summarising The Fast and Furious Series

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Fast and Furious: Car Porn

The Fast and Furious series continues to make money at the box office. I have previously summarised the movies but it is time for an update.

The Fast and the Furious
Vin Diesel and Paul Walker prove that by combining the acting chops of Keanu Reeves and the charisma of Patrick Swayze you can recreate Point Break with cars.
Fun Fact: Boys under 25 were inspired to buy Toyota Supras by this movie. Failing that, they attached hi-flow exhausts to their Hyundai Excel.

2 Fast 2 Furious
Diesel was 2 busy and subsequently introduced Tyrese Gibson to the series. Thus started the series long question “What is he doing here? Is he the comedy relief without the comedy? Why hasn’t he been accidentally shot yet?”
Fun Fact: Someone actually thought you could replace Diesel with Gibson.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Lucas Black and Bow Wow make Diesel and Walker look like Shakespearean actors. Even with the most cars and jailbait in skirts, we still wonder how this is a Fast and Furious movie.
Fun Fact: This movie got made. No-one is quite sure how.

Fast & Furious
Diesel and Walker return to remind us that as unlikely as it would seem, they make this series work. I’m sure there was a plot and stuff probably happened. Cars exploded though.
Fun Fact: This wasn’t released direct to DVD.

Fast Five
The Rock is introduced and immediately this series becomes awesome. Diesel realises The Rock is in this film and spends the next few films trying to buff up and look half as intimidating as a single eyebrow raise from The Rock.
Fun Fact: The Rock is in this film!!

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Fast & Furious 6
The Rock gains an endorsement from Under Armour and Johnson’s Baby Oil to help hold this film together. Characters get resurrected. Others die. We are painfully reminded that street racers are not professional mercenaries.
Fun Fact: Tanks and Planes can be destroyed with sports cars. Engineers and the military are working together to figure out how they got things so wrong.

Furious 7
Hey look, we just made a billion dollars with this movie. Pretty impressive for a movie that is a loosely strung together series of set pieces designed by a kid with a Hot Wheels obsession. The heroes also decide that they want to see how many innocent people they can get caught in the crossfire for the final showdown.
Fun Fact: They actually did a touching send off for Paul Walker.

The Fate of the Furious
The Rock and Jason Statham are now the stars of the series. They have all the coolest scenes and make you gloss over the various characters who have disappeared.
Fun Fact: Did you know that Lamborghinis were bulletproof? Apparently a grappling hook goes straight through the door but not any bullets. Amazing engineering.

Future Fast and Furious movies?

Fast and Furiosa
Charlize Theron returns as the villain. The Rock and Statham join forces to stop the Imperator. Diesel fights for relevance in the series with huge doses of steroids. They probably use cars despite them not making sense for the plot.

Furious and the Walking Dead
CGI advances to the point where Paul Walker is resurrected for the series. This once again gives Vin Diesel relevance to the series. The Rock and Statham pull out the zombie fighting kit and attack the uncanny valley.

Terrible Writing Advice – Evil Empires

This Youtube channel has lots of great material for budding writers. World building is often done without much thought. J.P. Beaubien runs through how to create the antagonist Evil Empire.

Read more here.

Multitasking definition

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I’ve mentioned before how multitasking is one of those things everyone does badly (here and here). Time to focus… cat picture!

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Abridged Classics

If you haven’t seen them already, these cartoons from John Atkinson at Wrong Hands are awesome. Go see his blog.

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Those end of book feels

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My library colour coded

Just Add Coffee

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Manuscript Love

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Finding something to read

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The Reading Channel

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Hipster Kindle

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