Drug money laundering, hiring models to chat up, and providing DJs with ecstasy.
Executive meetings on golf course, executive meetings at exclusive restaurants, executive meetings at strip clubs, and calling random staff members to remind them you’re the boss.
Required to stand immediately to the Prime Minister’s right when major announcements are made. Responsible for nodding head in background of TV coverage of the PM making the announcement. Being responsible for any fuck-ups when the announcement goes badly (unless it can be blamed on someone in your department).
Director of Government Department
In charge of minister publicity stunts and press releases.
Required to spend long hours as a semi-professional fisherman. Once or twice a week assign an apprentice to do some plumbing.
Similar to plumber except with less water and shorter working hours.
Responsible for doing all the shit jobs to facilitate industry professionals. Good career advancement opportunities to become semi-professional fisherman.
Bus driving with lower risk of crashing, better perks, longer hours, and shorter life expectancy due to high altitude radiation exposure.
Press release copy and paste expert. Responsible for keeping drug dealers and coffee shops in business.
Responsible for writing articles. Not responsible for researching articles. Cultivate sources for articles, such as fellow columnists, journalists, and bloggers with “truth” in their page title.
In charge of making sure others don’t do stupid and annoying shit that will hurt everyone around them. Not to be mistaken for parking meter attendants, nor strippers.
Required to make sure not mistaken for police officers, firefighters, school girls, secretaries, nurses, or prostitutes.
Required to be a professional liar and manipulator for hire to inanimate objects and services.
Required to have survived at least one explosion from experiments gone wrong during childhood. Leading scientists will have engulfed their high schools in flames and no longer be able to grow eyebrows. Required to find even more cool ways to blow shit up, and discover the nature of truth.
2 thoughts on “Job Descriptions”
Well done. Funny. Love the Plumber/Electrician/Apprentice tie in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. The frustration of trying to get a tradie and the prices they charge leaking out.