Merry Whatever and Happy Celestial Orbit 2014

In honor of the Xmas season

There are so many religious, non-religious, familial and festive events on this month, leading into the switch over to the new calendar year of 2014. So I hope that whatever end of year, harvest festival, solstice or denominational event you are celebrating, that it is a joyous one.

I’ve had a great year, published a few short stories, I have a novel in submission, my son has gone from sleep, eat and cry to eat, play, sleep and cry, and you have all shared that with me here. I hope you have had a good year as well, or at least one that will make you look forward to 2014 as much as I am.

So, join me again next year, slightly older, slightly wiser, slightly hungover and ready for some fun.

Cheers, Tyson.

A Ten-Month-Old’s Letter To Santa

This is comedy gold that every parent will be able to relate to.

Dear Santa,

 I am a ten-month-old baby and I write because my mother has been sending out my “Christmas List” to people, and her list does not in any way represent the things I really want.  I could give two s#*ts about receiving stacking cups.

And I know you’re ready to make the joke about ten month-old babies and how all we want is the wrapping paper and the boxes.  Touché,Santa.  Touché.   We do, of course, want those things.  But I have a number of additional things I want very badly.

My list is enclosed below.  Have a lovely holiday.

-Ten Month-Old Baby

See the list here: A Ten-Month-Old’s Letter To Santa.

Merry whatever and a happy continuation of our celestial orbit

We are closing in on the end of the calendar year and on the annual spend fest that is the pagan tradition rebadged for consumerists Christians. I’ve enjoyed 2012 and I thank my readers here for stopping by and joining me throughout the year. Whatever your religion, culture or creed, I hope that you have a good holiday and festive season and I hope that 2013 actually arrives. If 2013 does arrive, I hope that you were able to get lots of good stuff off of the people who swore the world would end on the 21st of December, and that the new year brings you joy and happiness or at least a pay rise.
Happy Holidays

Decisions for holiday happiness

This lovely infographic will help with this season’s festivities. Ideally you will work through the varying styles of beer to find the right beverage for every meal and occasion. Because if there is one thing about the holiday season that is true everywhere, it is that you don’t want to be sober.
The World of Beer

Learn about infographic design.

In honor of the Xmas season

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk:
Cinnamon
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk:
British Constitution
Loquacious Transubstantiate
Passive-aggressive Disorder
Specificity

Things that are downright IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk:
Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
Nope, no more alcohol for me.
Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.
You’re right, I can’t jump over that table.